Best Of 2014

Pimpin's Best of Beer & Beer Relations 2014

Best Cold Beer In A Hot Shower: Loose Leaf - Odell Brewing Company

Why? Served ice cold in a steaming hot shower, drinking this beer is like sitting in an outdoor hot tub while snow is lightly falling on your head, neck and shoulders.

Best Beer To Smuggle Into The Movie Theater: Organic Chocolate Stout - Samuel Smith's

Why? Low carbonation means no loud Kssss when you open this guy. Comes in a large enough bottle to get a buzz off of, but not too large to hide in a small bag or large coat. Actually tastes like chocolate, verses most chocolate stouts that just taste like dark beer/coffee with chocolate aromas. Plus it doesn't smell bad to non-beer drinkers in the theater. 

This is an important category...some movies require beer.

Strangest Ingredients That Work: Brewfist Spaghetti Western - Prairie Artisan Ales

Why? It's an imperial stout brewed with coffee, cocoa nibs, and actual spaghetti.  Its delicious with or without dinner.  Think spaghetti noodle flavor, no marinara sauce included. 

Best Holiday Cheers: He'Brew Reunion A Beer for Hope 2014 - Shmaltz Brewing & Terrapin Beer Co.

Why? Cinnamon, cocoa nibs, coffee, & coconut. This is the festive dessert god of beers. 

Best Bowl Of Ramen Side-Piece: Kaedama Ale - Brooklyn Brewery 

Why? They teamed up with the best ramen restaurant in New York City, Ippudo, to make a special brew specifically crafted to be paired with a bowl of ramen. 

Best Lick The Empty Bottle To Savor The Flavor: Vanilla Porter - Breckenridge

Why? Too many vanilla beers don't have much vanilla flavor, this one is perfectly balanced and the vanilla really pops. 

Best Beer on Tap 

Pimpin's Pick: Tie Lost Souls - Parallel 49 (Chocolate Pumpkin) & Killer Red - Double Mountain

Readers Poll: Kama Citra - Elysian 

Best Beer in a Bottle 

Pimpin's Pick: Green Peppercorn Tripel - Brewer's Art 

Readers Poll: Sculpin - Ballast Point (Edged out Total Domination - Ninkasi)

Best Microbrew 

Pimpin's Pick: 150 Hippies - Good Life 

Readers Poll: Outcast - Crux

Best Bar 

Pimpin's Pick:  Common Ground - New York City 

Readers Poll: Horse Brass - Portland, Oregon

Best Import 

Pimpin's Pick:  Hitachino Nest Red Rice Ale - Kinchi Brewery - Japan

Readers Poll: Steinlager - New Zealand

Best Brewery 

Pimpin's Pick: New Belgium (Not our favorite beers, but they are incredibly eco-friendly, innovative, they have a solid collection of classics like Fat Tire & 1554 as well as very creative new additions like salted dark belgium chocolate & Coconut Curry, and they know how to have fun at their brewery with gigantic outdoor slalom style shuffle board and free funky post cards they ship for free.

Readers Poll: Elysian - Seattle, Washington 

Everything is subjective, we'd love to hear about your favorites of the year as well, so please post them here in the comments below. 

A true hero.

What kind of beer do you think he saved? 

Book Review For A SMASHED Twitter Celebrity

BOOK REVIEW: SMASHED: The Life and Tweets of Drunk Hulk by Christian A. Dumais

How famous do you need to get in order to have your profile pic be an animated GIF? I'm not sure but DRUNK HULK is the only one I've ever seen, and he weighs-in pretty hefty with over 189,000 Twitter followers. I'm one of those 189k, and have been a big fan of DRUNK HULK for several years now.  What? You thought this review would be unbiased? Pimpin' 101 baby, I just don't give a F@#K. So when I was sent a copy of his new book SMASHED to review, I may have crushed a beer can on my forehead in excitement. 

This book is formatted in unique and creative ways from the table of contents written as a bar tab receipt, to the chapter titles being actual quotes from his Twitter feed. I can lie, I’m a sucker for comic book character satire. At one point I used to do a gay batman in my stand-up act. This guy has jokes, simple yes, corny maybe, but funny, definitely when you read it in your head in a drunk hulk voice. Here are some of my favorites:

"DRUNK HULK WANT TO STUDY A BROAD IN COLLEGE BUT SHE SAY NO!"

"DRUNK HULK ALLOW ONLY 1 CARRY ON FOR FIRST DATE, LEAVE YOU BAGGAGE AT HOME!"

"DRUNK HULK STEP ON DOVE BY ACCIDENT! PRINCE FULL OF CRAP! THAT NO HOW IT SOUND LIKE WHEN THEY CRY AT ALL!"

Dumais is just such a big relatable oaf, he's the Louis C.K. of drunken comic book characters. Take how he paints the picture of social differences between Polish and American culture via the way we greet each other and respond to How are you doing? for example.

American responses:

"I’m good. - Translation, I'm having a good day, i.e. I had sex this morning."

"I’m fine. - Translation, Things could be better i.e. I had sex this morning then I spent the next 3 hours in the bathroom crying."

"I’m okay. - Translation, I'm having the worst day, i.e. I had sex this morning, and now the hookers are dead."

SMASHED: The Life and Tweets of DRUNK HULK eloquently (for a hulk) breaks down the meaning of life, or more fittingly the meaning of life on Twitter, what works for people, what doesn't, and why. Like most of us who have tried to become famous online know, look at me! look at me! doesn't work, humor is a much better way of earning affection and grabbing attention; DRUNK HULK has mastered this technique. 

Buy this book. Place it on your coffee table.  Your friends who fumble through it while waiting on you to take a dump will appreciate it. 

Last years' DRUNK HULK top tweets list.

You are what you drink

I Loved how spot on this funny article is, particularly for the Light Lager, its a perfect description of my dad, he even drives a Dodge Ram.  My girlfriend is an IPA lady and most of its true too, except for the winning at everything part, which SHE thinks is true, and doesn't like to admit to losing haha. As for me I guess my favorites are Ryes, Ambers, and really flavor-packed unique beers.  You could probably take a line out of each of the descriptions below and you'd have me pinned.  

There’s a saying that anyone who claims not to like beer just hasn’t had the right beer. This year’s Great American Beer Festival showcased nearly 5,700 brews representing nearly 100 distinct styles. Even the pickiest drinker would have had a hard time not leaving happy. From crisp, refreshing pilsners to rich oatmeal stouts, every style of beer has its own unique character and story to tell. Here’s what your favorite kind of beer says about you.

Pale Ale: You are responsible but fun; mature but certainly not boring. You may have married your high school sweetheart and coach little league, but can still throw down a mean kegstand when college buddies are in town. You’re outgoing, charming, and non-threatening, making you the perfect wingman for your louder, attention-seeking mates.

Light Lager: You are a creature of habit, practical to a fault. You despise your yoga-loving neighbors, their J Crew-clad children, and their designer Labradoodle, Lucky. Your idea of farm-to-table involves Thursday Night Football, a TV tray, and a pot of chili made from an elk you shot and transported home in your Dodge Ram.

Stout: You are independent and reserved, eschewing the frivolities of pop culture in favor of a Hemingway read by candlelight in the basement of your wooded cottage. Every year, you look forward to participating in your town’s annual Civil War reenactment festival and frightening school children on class field trips. Nobody comes to your house to trick-or-treat on Halloween.

Saison: You are sophisticated and cultured. You are fluent in at least two Romance languages, and you roll your eyes when someone blows their nose in a cloth napkin. You love Victorian literature, Elizabethan theater, and Edwardian architecture. Your standard poodle won Best in Show at last year’s Westminster dog show.

Barleywine: You are mysterious and reclusive. You are a software developer for an online gaming company, but moonlight as the bassist in a death metal band called Fleshwound. You sport an unkempt ponytail and some sweet facial hair. You don’t have a Social Security Number.

IPA: You are extroverted and adventurous, always seeking excitement and novelty. You win at everything from chess to Settlers of Catan to debates about Tibetan sovereignty. You can be emotionally volatile, sweet and bright in one moment and abrasive and bitter the next. Pale Ale Guy is your wingman.

Sour Beer: You are thoughtful and sensitive, someone who still uses a typewriter and composes melancholy songs for the ukulele. Your best friend is your fifteen-year-old Cockatoo, Gretchen, who knows the lyrics to every song in Les Miserables. You are allergic to anything that has a shell.

Which beer are you?

http://www.foodandwine.com/fwx/drink/what-your-favorite-beer-style-says-about-you?xid=FWxNL110614WhatYourFavorite

Beer Cut

Somethings in life you just don't skimp on, a comfy mattress, dental care, and a quality haircut. If it's done by a hot girl that hands you a beer when you sit down, BONUS. 

Shout out to Tina @ http://www.rebelsalondenver.com/ for hooking me up with a fresh ear lowering. 

Beer & Guns: Don't mess with Texas home brewers!

 Oh yeah that's that pre-brew right there!

 Professional equipment, they don't mess around in Texas.

 Hops that look like artillery, what is going on here? Oh its German. 

Sweet sweet nectar of the gods.  

This push-broom on the left is Texas home brewer extraordinaire Mike Jordan and his lovely wife Lisa.

The interview with the beerpire

Me: So...

Mike: So how do you know Kat? (my daughter).

Me: (I thought I was asking the questions here... way to take charge of the interview Dylan)

Me again, or me actually talking outloud: I met Kat during Fun Fun Fun fest in Austin, we did a show together at the Velveeta room. 

Mike: Ha, I think that might be her favorite place in the whole world. 

Me: Its a nice club, and Kat is hilarious. 

Me again: I was warned not to use the word Obama around you, is that for my own safety?

Mike: THAT SON OF A BITCH. Have you ever heard of blood eagle torture done by the vikings?

Me: Nope.

Mike: (Continues to tell me in graphic detail how the vikings used to torture people) PERSONALLY I THINK EVERYONE OF THOSE LIBERAL... 

Me: (I'll spare you the expletives).

Me again: So Mike what level of home-brewing are we talking here? 

Mike: Well I started with the kits, I have a technical mind, I'm big into guns and I load my own ammo. Its the same technical thinking process that goes into brewing. 

We have a chest freezer called a Keezer and we keep three kegs tapped at a time. 

Me: Seems like quite a bit of beer?

Mike: There was a law passed in 1978, only good thing a democrat ever did that was worth a damn. It allows for a home brewer to make 100 gallons per year, 150 gallons if you're married. I don't know who checks on this sort of thing but we make a hell of a lot more than that I'll tell ya. 

Me: So what have you concocted recently?

Mike: We made a pumpkin ale with 6 lbs of real pumpkin that we roasted in the oven ourselves. We also made a vanilla whiskey porter that included 8 oz of single malt whiskey from San Antonio. We make a lot of mead as well, and we don't mess around, we used 15 lbs of honey to make a 5 gallon batch.  

Me: Have you seen the documentary The Vanishing Of The Bees? ( I didn't actually ask this, I was just thinking it in my brain).

Me again: In your opinion what are the best breweries in the Austin area?

Mike: Guadalupe Brewing (his white guy pronunciation of Guadalupe was hilarious) they make a Texas honey braggot, its a combination of beer and mead, its super thick and infused with a ton of honey. 

Also Circle Brewing. They make a hef called Circle Blur, its one of the best beers around. 

Me: I've always wondered this, maybe you know the answer. Which city originated the the slogan was it Keep Portland Weird or Keep Austin Weird? 

Mike: I don't know but it fits, everyone in Austin IS freakin' weird. 

Me: Do you like to experiment? What's the strangest beer concoction you've brewed yourself?

Mike: Last winter we made a black cherries & cinnamon smoked porter, it turned out very nice. We also made a sweet and spicy chocolate and ghost pepper that was sort of in between a stout and a porter. 

Me: This next question comes from out of left field, where my mind is often located. Do you feel partially responsible for Kat's poor career choice to become a standup comedian?

Mike: Hahahaha, No not at all, we tried to guide her in the right direction but it just didn't work. She was 14 when I married her mom, and she's always been the type to just do whatever it is she sets her mind towards. The biggest perk is she gets us free tickets to big comedians and music concerts that come through town haha so I can't complain about her being a comedian too much. 

Me: True. You're a lucky guy, Kat's pretty awesome. 

Here's a video of comedian, and home brewer's daughter, Kat Ramzinski, oh its not just any video, it's a music video where she raps about Tecate! 

You gotta pay the troll toll...

That's me up on his head. I climbed up on top the giant Fremont Troll who lives under the Fremont Bridge in Seattle, Washington. 

The story of our journey to reach the troll involves Uber car service, a very sweet old lady who has no business being a professional driver in Seattle, and a 15 minute drive that took us an hour and 20 minutes due to traffic... And our kindhearted tour guide, who wanted to show us everything there was to see along the way as she navigated the slowest possible route to our destination. 

Not only did we choose DIY driving service Uber in the Fremont neighborhood, we also went with DIY hotel alternative Air BnB, since it had been so good to us renting the house in Hood River, Oregon.

So this place was...fine.  I mean the bed was a pull out couch bed, I knew that from the pictures. What I didn't know was that unlike the 20+ pull out couch-beds that I had experienced previously in my lifetime, this one happened to be about six inches too short for a fully grown adult human. And my legs from below the knee down had to choose between curl up or dangle over the edge. 

The saving grace, complementary beer in the fridge! Not just any beer, good beer, craft beer. Ah yeah, let's get drunk and forget we're sleeping on a doggy bed. 

The beer, Fremont Interurban IPA. Awesome, we were given the gift of very appropriately named local flavor.  Very drinkable, the Interurban was more refreshing and thirst quenching than most IPAs. It's alcohol level is high enough to get you buzzed quick, but not so ridiculous that you have to slow sip it like a scotch. 

ABV - 6.2%

Overall Synopsis: 

Fremont brewery is the coolest thing in Fremont...well besides the troll. 

Dylan Rating: 8 out of 10 bottles. 

Pimpin' Gets Drawn Out

Beer cartoon donated to Pimpin' by professional sketch artist/cartoonist Samuel Ferri. 

You can see more of his work in this link here to cartoons he drew for the New York Observer during Comic Con.  I love these: http://observer.com/2014/10/a-cartoonists-day-at-comic-con/

S'more Collaboration: Nobleate.com

S'more Stout - Base Camp Brewing 

ABV: 7.7%

Conversation with a foodie & a man-baby: 

"I tried S'more Stout in a bottle, wasn't impressed, I tasted no marshmallows...what's the point?"

"The toasted marshmallow was a nice touch! Aroma added to the flavor." - Sarah Noble @Nobleate

"Not fair, not fair, I wanna mallow too!"

Delicious photo by: Sarah Noble

Food blog: Nobleate.com

http://instagram.com/nobleate

Guest post I wrote for BumWineBob.com on the luxurious PBR!

Pimpin' Ain't Yeasty guest appearance on BumWineBob.com

Hood River Hops Fest: One of the best beer fests in the world???

Destination Hood River Hops Fest located in the beautiful Gorge, smack in between the epic Multnomah Falls (they are actually taller than Niagara Falls) and Mt Hood (Internationally famous for snowboarding all year round because there is a glacier at the top of its Timberline ski resort. Also home to the famous Timberline lodge where the horror movie The Shining was filmed). 

The fest hosted 42 craft breweries and 62 specialty beers on tap. Many of which were special limited brews made just for this event. 

Great company, 9 friends rented an amazing house (owned by local brewery owner of Everybody's Brewing) 10 minutes out of Hood River, right on the water, with fire pit in the front yard and fire place in the living room. This pic is of some of us getting ready to hike pre-beer fest. 

This was the gold and the end of the hike-rainbow. Tamanawas Falls. 

Out of 62 beers I tasted 16 of them.  

Honorable mention goes to: 

Home town co-hosts Full Sail with their Fresh Hop Pale Ale. "Full malty body with biscuit & caramel flavors support hop notes of spice and citrus." I can't say I tasted the biscuit but I definitely caught the rest. This is what I love about northwest beers, complex but easy drinking, super hoppy but no bitter aftertaste. 

GoodLife Brewing - 150 Hippies. If you ever get offered a GoodLife, please don't pass it up. These Bend, Oregon hippies make some of the best beer in the area, and I'm talkin' about Earth. 150 lbs of of fresh hops from local farms and backyard enthusiasts went into 150 hippies, it tastes like love and peace.

The Best of the Fest:

No contest this year. All 9 of us in my group, plus several other new intoxicated friends we made there all agreed, hands down, the other local Hood River co-hosts Double Mountain was the best brewery there.
They brought 3 excellent beers to the festival, so which was the over-all best was a little more controversial. Morder Weizen possibly my first experience with a fresh hop wheat, was kind of a cross between a hef and an ipa. It was good, real good, but got over shadowed by the 2 stars of the festival that happened to share the same table.
The Killer Red, a fresh hop IRA, yup, Indian Red Ale, with wild aromas of blood orange, pineapple and forest; but this is no fruity diva, its just a great brew that your significant other won't mind the smell of.  Also claimed to taste like biscuits and caramel...this was my top choice of the fest but "biscuits are biscuits and I'm not sayin' scones" (Hannibal Buress voice).  The Killer Red tasted like beer, damn good beer. Maybe when I find a beer that tastes like biscuits to me I can finally claim to be a true beer aficionado.
The Killer Green, if it was a competition, and my crew was judging, would have taken home the trophy. This may be the most pretentious beer description I've ever read: "ripe cantaloup, currant, kind herb, (hold on kind herb, is this a thing? I thought kind herb was the kind you smoke...) and pine aromas supported by a dry, brioche malt body (this is where I'm like who's the wine geek that wrote this for them?) and a pleasantly lasting bitterness. Be green, drink green (I think that last line was the only one the brew master wrote himself).

Overall synopsis: Visit Oregon before you die. If you already have but haven't seen the Gorge or Hood River definitely get there. The best time to go? All year around, winter if you ski or snowboard, any other season for great outdoor hiking, biking, wind surfing, kite boarding, kyaking, rafting, beer & wine. But late September for the Hood River Hops Fest, its a fresh hops and i.p.a. lovers dream.

The Audio is disturbingly terrible, it sounds like a ghost hunter video...

When I'm on the east coast I long for Fred Meyers grocery store, there just isn't anything like it in NYC. Its like if Whole Foods and Target had a baby. 

But just look at it! Local brews on tap, growlers to go, and their cold micro brew selection smashes most grocery stores entire beer isle; warm, cold, crafts, doms, & imports combined. 

Ninkasi, out of patchouli smellin', drum circle playin', hippie ass Eugene, Oregon; arguably one of the best breweries on the planet, just had to be in my blog. Their oatmeal stout named Oatis gets even better seasonally when it transforms to the sweet ice coffee flavor of Vanilla Oatis. Look at that color, Its non-translucent (I'm sure their is a word for that....science anyone?)

ABV 7.2%

Dylan Rating:  9 out of 10 bottles

Overall synopsis: Milk n cookies for adults that want their cookies to come with a nice buzz. 

The Luckiest Beer

One of the best IPAs I've ever had in a bottle maybe the luckiest.
My friend Tron and I hit Belmont Station, one of Portland's best selections for micro-brews in a bottle, to grab a sixer to bring to a poker tournament friend reunion.

Ballast Point - Sculpin was one of the most expensive six-packs I've seen in the cheap beer heaven of Portlandia at about $16. Tron said he'd tried it once and it was really good, but we saw the price and almost dismissed it. Then he pointed out that it'd probably bring us luck at the tables. I mean its called the Sculpin, and the art on the label is dope. So we went with it. This is every thing an IPA should be. Very hoppy, without bitterness, literally no bitterness or bad lingering aftertaste at all. And the kicker, we split 1st and 2nd place in the tournament (well I haggled my way into us splitting it 45%/45% and playing one last hand for the last 10% of the pot, which he won).

ABV 7%

Dylan rating: 10 out of 10 bottles.

Overall synopsis: The Sculpin has earned its place as my official beer for poker games in Portland.

Beard Beer with My Favorite Beardo, My Dad

First stop Chatoe Rogue. Why? Portland, Oregon is home to the largest amount of microbreweries in the world. Rogue is the most popular of them, and pretty much the only one (famous for Dead Guy Ale) you can find in bars all over New York City (my current home).
My parents happen to live in the boondocks of Oregon about 30 minutes west of Salem in a tiny town called Independence, which also happens to be the home of Chatoe Rogue, Rogue Hazelnut Farm, Rogue Pumkin Patch, and fields and fields of Rogue owned hops. So when you see the fist logo on a rogue label that's Rogue Farms, that beer came from little middle of nowhere Independence, Oregon.

Quick shoutout:
The staff at Chatoe Rogue is incredibly warm, friendly and knowledgeable.

What I tasted:
Rogue Roguenbier Rye Ale - 5.5% ABV
"At Rogue we grow our own, we made this ale with our own hops, barley & rye."
Hell to the yeah, I like everything about this beer.
I was introduced to rye beer with Righteous Rye from Sixpoint. It was love at first taste, clean, and the harsh aftertaste many beers have is replaced by a gentle flavor similar to rye bread.
Roguenbier Rye was the 3rd rye I've tried and I would rank them 2nd of the three, with first place going to Sierra Nevada's Ruthless Rye.

Dylan Rating: 7 out of 10 bottles.
Overall synopsis: I'm becoming more and more of a rye beer fan, and Rogue's version did not disappoint.

Rogue Beard Beer - 5.6% ABV
"Brewed with a yeast created from brewmaster John Maier's beard."
Uh...what? They're joking right? Nope. They're serious.
Labelled an American Wild Ale (I've never heard of that genre), this tastes like something crossed between a pilsner and a saison. That said, I've never tasted a beer quite like it before.
Super cloudy, with a rich burnt sienna color (yup, I learned my colors from the crayola crayons 64 pack).

Dylan Rating: 5 out of 10 bottles

Overall synopsis: Odd in a good way, very unique, and it kept me tasting, trying to decipher the flavors. I wouldn't buy it again though. It's a novelty beer that will probably sell well in Portland, Brooklyn, and other cities where beards are common on young men. However its a little too strange even for a beardo like myself.